The Light Beneath the Surface
by jewel-shards
Summary: They were all at Haruka's house when Rin received the call, and although Rin wasn't the one strapped to a stretcher with an oxygen mask pressed to his face, he couldn't breathe. He could barely concentrate because Sousuke … Sousuke was hurt and he felt helpless - even more so when Sousuke is in recovery. SouRin RinSou UPDATE:: CHAPTER 3 HAS BEEN FIXED
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Free**

**Time frame**: The free boys are university students now. Sousuke and Rin are an established couple.

**Chapter 1**

It was one of those days - Rin thought after leaving the apartment to head over to Haruka's place – that Sousuke should have been home early.

Over the last year it had become something like a tradition of sorts that every Friday around lunchtime Rin would come back from Political Science 101 (which by the way was the most demanding thing he's ever ignorantly taken up) to his and Sousuke's tiny and lightly furnished apartment and Sousuke would already be there to sweetly greet him, or actually not so sweetly greet him initially but in reality only offer up a curt 'hey' while sprawled out tiredly on the couch with a set of headphones tucked away in his ears, and if Rin wasn't as observant as he was, if Rin hadn't known Sousuke for as long as he had, the small smile that tugged up at the corner of the taller male's mouth whenever Rin walked in would have certainly gone unnoticed.

Rin let himself smile little as he got off the bus and began what was always a pretty short trek to the swimmer's house. He would have totally missed the always surprising glimmer in those tiffany coloured irises and the fact that his new current read would be sitting in the corner of the coffee table every Friday instead of being where he left it, just waiting for him to dive right back in to an adventure and beside Sousuke who would frown before outstretching an arm. A silent cue for the redhead to join him. They would spend the rest of the day like that together, tired from the week with swim practice and their own classes and part time jobs and content to stay that way forever until their stomachs started to call for them and they were forced to get up.

Rin frowned, closing his phone when Sousuke's generic voicemail came on - because of course after all this time of having a phone, he's never even bothered to personalize the freakin' thing. It was weird and maybe a little concerning because … Rin checked the time on his phone; Sousuke's last class was supposed to have been over with two hours ago but then again, Rin sighed, pushing his phone back into his pants pocket as Haruka's house came into view. He probably just got caught up with some things at the University.

Rin bounded the stairs, taking two at a time, up to Haruka's front door and quickly knocked before stepping in. "I'm coming in!" He called while toeing off his sneakers.

"Rin!" He heard the voices of his friends sound off in near unison from the quaint living room and he grinned, poking his head through the entrance way where he immediately saw his group of buddies sitting around Haruka's table.

"We bought pizza Rin-Rin!" Nagisa exclaimed with bright pink eyes once Rin plopped down next to Makoto who was finishing off the rest of his slice. "And you're just in time too because Rei-chan was about to eat his third slice even though everybody else only had two!"

Rin raised a slender eyebrow at Rei, his grin now teasing as he watched Rei flush and stammer. "Ah" He leaned forward, elbows pressing on the table. "Hungry Rei?" It was all in good fun. He knew how much of a stickler Rei was when it came to his diet and appearance so it was hard _not _to humour Nagisa.

"What?! N-No! Nagisaaaaaa! You shouldn't say things that aren't true!"

Rin laughed at the sight of them getting into their usual banter. Their antics brought back all the good memories of his time spent at Samezuka.

"So," Makoto started, smiling lightly as he brought his attention to over Rin. "How has school and swimming been going for you?"

Rin blinked for a moment before rolling his eyes and resting his chin in his hand and heaving a long sigh. His classes weren't the problem, he could handle essays every week and extra study hours and group projects but practice was a completely different story. His team's coach was a drill sergeant in the pool, always hollering for them to go faster and repeat 'this' and 'that' again and _again_ and blowing that damn whistle until he was blue in the face and although Rin absolutely loved the challenge it brought each day because both his and Sousuke's times had shot up drastically since joining the team, he_ didn't_ appreciate the intense soreness that would plague his muscular system at the end of each day, that would leave him exhausted to the point where he wanted nothing more than to get a nice massage with some salve and sleep only to realize he had fucking coursework to do.

"It's killing me! We have nationals coming up so Coach is being more ruthless than usual. Even Sousuke's worn out." Rin groaned and mustered up a halfhearted glare when Makoto laughed.

"Well, it's for the best then, right Rin? Haru-chan and I are gonna be there to cheer you on during nationals so you have to train hard!"

"Oh! We're coming too!" Nagisa beamed, jabbing his thumb in his chest and slapping Rei on the back causing the male to choke on his drink. "Isn't that right, Rei-chan?!"

"Can't have you embarrassing us." Haru piped in.

"Tch" Rin clicked his tongue. "As if I'd-" He cut himself off as his phone started to vibrate and sound off in his pocket." Ah, hold up a sec." He said before hitting the talk button and pressing it to his ear. "Hello?"

_"Hello, may I please speak to Matsuoka Rin if he's available?"_

"This is him."

_"Hello, Matsuoka-san. I'm actually one of the head nurses calling from Jutendo Hospital in Tokyo regarding an admitted patient named Yamazaki Sousuke. You were listed as an emergency contact and family member."_

Rin paled, "What…" He breathed out and gripped the phone until his knuckles turned white. "W-What happened?" This had to be joke. "What happened?"

_"There was an automobile accident involving-"_

"No … No, how could he have gotten – he doesn't even fucking drive!" He tried to regulate his breathing. He really did but he couldn't. "Is he … Is he okay?"

_"For the moment, he is in critical condition. If you-"_

Rin hung up the phone and shot up from the table. He probably shouldn't have interrupted her so much and he _definitely shouldn't_ have hung up without at least catching her instructions but he couldn't hear anymore and besides, she said the name of the hospital and that's all that mattered to Rin at the moment. He was a mess, scrambling for his sneakers at the door and almost forgetting his wallet and his keys in the process. His eyes were stinging and his heart, oh God his heart felt like it was a being squeezed into a box. This couldn't be real.

"Rin?!"

"Rin, what's the matter?!"

Suddenly, all his friends were at his side, their faces concerned as they watched him but Rin could barely think, let alone explain anything. He had trouble tying his shoes and his hands were shaking so bad all he could hear was the jingling of his house keys. And then Haru was there, knelt on the floor, grabbing his shoulders.

"What's going on? Rin!"

His blue eyes were wide and frightened and Rin felt everything inside of him crumble. His heart hurt so badly. "I-I have to get to the hospital!" Rin couldn't help it. The tears that had been clinging to his eyes, fell as he practically shouted at the inky haired male in front of him who gasped which was followed by the others. "Sousuke… Sousuke he's … The nurse said he's in critical condition! What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!" Rin cried and beside him saw Nagisa slipping into his sneakers and pressing a series of buttons on his phone – probably sending a text message. His eyes widened however, when Nagisa clasped his hand and yanked him up.

"I got a car so I'm taking Rin-Rin to the hospital! It'll be fastest! Oh, but I …" He slowly trailed off, some of the fire leaving his eyes as he did so and slid his gaze over the group. There was no way everyone would be able to fit in his car.

Haruka looked at Rin, then nodded to Nagisa. "That's alright. Go."

"Its fine, me and Haru will meet you guys up there!"

And that was it. A few seconds later they were outside in the crisp air and practically vaulting down the concrete steps. He must have dropped his wallet and keys sometime before he left because Rei was running beside them with Rin's belongings secured in-between his fingers. It took him a minute to realize that he was being both pulled and led by Nagisa who still held his hand as they rounded the corner and Nagisa's light blue Hyundai came into view.

The blonde had unlocked the doors before they even got there. "Get in, Rin-chan."

Rin quickly got in, securing his seat belt as Rei slid in the back and Nagisa was already in the driver's seat, turning on the engine and they locked eyes for a moment and honestly it was strange seeing Nagisa being so … reliable but he was so thankful and the bright warmth Nagisa always seemed to radiate waves of, reached him and for a few seconds at least, he felt like things were probably better with Sousuke's condition than what was running through his mind.

"Where's Sou-chan at?"

Rin rubbed his temples, his stomach started to knot up again as a wave of anxiety rolled over him and he dropped his head against the window. "Jutendo"

Well, so much for feeling a little better.

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**Author's Note:** So that is the end of chapter 1.

I'm not really sure about this because I've never written Free but you can't get better without practice I guess!

So if you can, pretty please leave a little review and tell me what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **First of all, let me say that I'm sorry this took so long to update. I had gotten way too busy! But I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. This story is also being posted on Archive of Our Own under my pen name JewelShards!

And also so many thanks to everyone who has read this so far, reviewed, faved, and or followed!

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Often, people describe the odor in most large hospitals as being sterile – overwhelmingly so; disinfectant wipes, hand sanitizer and enough bleach to blister the inside of your sinus cavity. But it didn't. To Rin it smelled weird, like latex gloves and Pine-Sol mop water all swirled together and he was grateful to have been spared being pummeled by the scent of anything stronger than that because at the moment, he probably would have vomited. His stomach was currently doing flips and the more he thought about Sousuke the more restless his body became. Rin brought his hands to his face for the umpteenth time since early this afternoon and bit down on the mound of his left palm. He always hated waiting rooms and he especially hated them now.

The three of them had arrived at the hospital in less than fifteen minutes thanks to Nagisa breaking several of the posted speed limits all the way up to Jutendo Hospital where Rin immediately shoved open the door before Nagisa could even put the car in park and made a mad dash through the front entrance. It had taken all the emotional strength he could muster to keep from crying (and shouting) as he told the poor nurse that he had been called and needed to see Yamazaki Sousuke.

And now there he was, an hour later, still waiting in the same damn seat. The bridge of Rin's nose began to swell, his eyes prickling with unshed tears as he thought of Sousuke. He tried to stay positive. He tried to picture it – to imagine the doctor or whoever strolling in with a relieved expression on his face and informing him that Sousuke came out fine with only a few scrapes and minor contusions in that composed tenor doctors always used no matter what they were saying. It was hard to believe in his own feeble attempt at optimism however when he had absolutely nothing to go on. The last thing he heard was that there had been some kind of car accident and god, was that confusing and just so, so scary in itself. A fucking car accident. Sousuke. His Sousuke. Rin dug his fingers in his scalp, his teeth pulling and gnawing on his slightly chapped lips and the skin there stung as it split – thin lines of red making crooked patterns along the tender flesh but the burn didn't even come close to the burning anxiety attacking every square inch of his nervous system. It spread through him like a wildfire from his toes and forced its way to his brain, scorching; mutilating his limbic system. For all he knew Sousuke could be prone on the hospital bed, barely breathing -because the lady had said critical of all things- while hooked up to machines with stitches holding together some horrible injury or fucking staples even, god, and having broken bones and just …

"Rin?"

Rin started, his eyes snapping open at the tentative call of his name and the familiar tone acted as a lifeboat, pulling him away from his sea of thoughts and back to shore. Slowly, he registered the soft feel of thick material surrounding his neck and pressing against his jawbone as Nagisa, he now realized, held onto him and blond hair tickled his wet cheek. Everything still felt fuzzy like interference on a television screen during a heavy rain, but he took note of Rei sitting in one of the chairs across from him, his shoulders tightly wound, back straight as a board with a pensive expression on his face and Rin could tell by the way Rei's fingers twined together in his lap that he couldn't stand the wait either because he had quickly learned that Rei was the kind of guy who received the most comfort from facts; not shaky possibilities and taking up two more seats, were Makoto and Haru. When had they gotten there, Rin wasn't sure. He wasn't sure about much of anything at the moment except for the fact that he was about sixty seconds away from losing his mind.

"It'll be fine, Rin." Makoto's normally light tone was heavy but still somehow managed to be comforting. Makoto was good at that.

Comforting people.

"Sousuke's fine." The tall male's eyes were hopeful, warm even as they slightly crinkled at the corners in a reassuring way only someone like Makoto could ever do. Rin's lip still stung. The pain had turned into a steady beat as he bit away, his pointed teeth irritating the already broken and abused skin until he felt a weight on his right side and when he slid his gaze over, it was Haru silently leaning against his frame in a more subtle form of comfort when compared to Nagisa who was all watery eyes, tight embraces, nuzzles and half whispered words consisting of different variations of the same sentence: 'Don't cry Rin-chan' and Rin didn't know how he ended up with such good friends.

It wasn't until another forty minutes had passed, that one of the doctors finally appeared but when she did, a tidal wave washed over them, filling the entire room with a bizarre balance of relief and disquiet kind of like water and oil in a bottle. But it was welcomed as her heels stopped clicking against the smooth tiles at the door with a clipboard pressed against her chest.

Her eyes flickered over the room. "Matsuoka Rin?"

"Uh, yes!" Rin hastily responded, his voice was thick with exhaustion – rough around the edges and he didn't miss a beat as he all but jumped out of the chair, using the sleeves of his black jacket to wipe at his by now very blotchy cheeks.

"Evening, Mastuoka-san." She dipped her head - polite but curt. "I'm Doctor Andou. Would it be alright if I spoke to you in private?" Her voice was smooth and low – all business – but gentle as she spoke to Rin and motioned for the door with her brown clipboard, a thin stack of paper pinned to it and it wasn't actually a question, but more of a statement molded into a courteous request.

Rin had thought he was prepared for what she was going to say. He had thought that after bawling his brains out and sniffing and snotting for an eternity in the waiting room that he had cried out enough mental junk to be able to handle whatever was to come but he wasn't. Nothing at all could have prepared him for the words that dropped from her lips in to-the-point paragraphs after she led him around the corner. Rin had been holding it together pretty damn well at first when Doctor Andou told him Sousuke was doing fine but then as she went into more depth and got down to the bare bones of it all, he may as well had been being smothered with a pillow the way his lungs were struggling for air.

"Yamazaki-san was struck by a motorcycle."

And not in a fucking car accident like he'd been told. That stupid fucking nurse.

"The identity of the vehicle operator, and whether (s)he had been distracted or driving under the influence is currently unknown because the driver had fled the scene before they could be properly identified by any witnesses..."

She spoke like someone who's had years of experience under her belt with this type of thing; delivering news to people like Rin, as she broke eye contact for only a few seconds to look at her clipboard. Rin felt his gut twist and his palms began to perspire when her eyebrows furrowed while quickly thumbing the pages and she did that thing that doctors sometimes did when they had something upsetting to say; that deep inhale-exhale with her nose.

Rin wished she'd just freaking spit it out and stop building up the suspense.

"Yamazaki-san came in with two broken ribs and level three contusions – bruises to the chest which was caused by the impact of what we assume was the front tire. The bruising on his chest and back ended up being severe enough to cause minor damage to his left lung and moderate injury to his spinal cord, or more correctly, the nerves resting outside of the spinal cord known as the peripheral nervous system giving him a case of transient paralysis in a both legs – diplegia..."

Oh no. No. No.

"... but the good news, however, is that muscle weakness or paralysis is not always an everlasting thing and in Yamazaki's case, I have full confidence that with emotional support and an aggressive treatment plan, he will make a full recovery. The amount of time it takes to get better of course, varies from patient to patient. If…"

It was all too much and too upsetting and Rin's cardinal eyes widened in shock and his knees buckled beneath him.

He was sobbing mess all over again, if not more so than before; his shoulders shaking and his chest heaved as the sobs wracked his body. Rin brought his hands to his face to muffle the noise and couldn't even recognize his own voice anymore; the shrill, brokenness startled him but it wasn't enough to make him stop. Rin's mind was violently reeling and this isn't real; it can't be real had become so much more than desperate a mantra.

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**Author's Note:** We're almost there you guys. Next chapter we'll see Sousuke.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Sorry, sorry! I fixed the super funky chapter format! Had no idea was like that. Thanks Isa for telling me!

* * *

It had been a process – to see Sousuke – mostly due to miscommunication of information from doctor to nurse and also, because of Rin who refused to actually walk through the door. It wasn't that he didn't want to see him. Hell, he had wanted to do nothing else _but_ see Sousuke for himself since he had rushed over. He was just afraid so it took a while. It had probably taken more time than it should have for Makoto to coax him into just putting his hand on the door. And at the time, Rin had wished for the medical staff to allow for more than one visitor. It made things a bit more nerve-racking but it would have been silly to make everyone wait for him. He knew that. Because life wasn't stopping for none of them. Nagisa and Rei had evening classes and Haruka had a competition in the morning. Which after so much reassuring, left only Makoto to linger, his emerald eyes glancing worriedly between Rin and the others.

_"Are … are you sure you don't want at least one of us to stay, Rin?"_

Makoto was such a fucking angel. He had been nothing short of concerned, placid tones and glossy green eyes the entire time but Rin had somehow managed to convince the tender-hearted male to follow after their friends and that's how he ended up sitting in a slightly uncomfortable chair while combing his fingers through Sousuke's hair. It was just the two of them in this stillness for now and as Rin sat there clutching a damp wad of tissues in his lap while trying _not_ to pay needless attention to the beeping machine, clear tubes and wires, he was glad that he was the only one visiting tonight. He couldn't directly pinpoint the reason but there was just something about this whole moment felt too fragile to share and so, so personal. Rin caressed Sousuke's cheek and leaned in to kiss the soft skin there. He needed this time alone. The doctors had undoubtedly called Sousuke's parents by now but with them being half way around the globe for some kind of vacation, it'd be some time before they were able to get back and that's if they had the money to purchase two new tickets. Not to mention that they hadn't exactly been the kindest of parental figures since Sousuke bravely announced he was in a relationship - with his male best friend no less.

Rin sniffed as he just barely pulled away and let his mind ease for what had to be the first time in hours. That was something he didn't think he'd be doing anytime soon. Relaxing or sort of half relaxing. He inhaled Sousuke's scent while pressing light kisses along his temple and jaw. Breathing in sleep scent mingled together with dry soap and the muscles between his shoulder blades uncoiled when Sousuke released a heavier breath through his nose. Rin allowed himself a small smile. It was still terrible but … not the same kind of terrible as before. The feelings that guessing gave off were much worse than this. For him at least, because Sousuke was alive and breathing and he knew that. Guessing was no longer needed.

"Hey babe …" His voice was broken and raw, raspy from an unpleasant mixture of crying, fatigue and disuse. "You know, I'll be a lot happier when you wake up."

Rin couldn't say how long he'd been in that seat. Not really. He only knew that visiting hours were long over and when some RN tried to get him to leave, he had pitched a fit until one of the head nurses gave in and told him he could stay for a couple extra hours – or the night.

And he was planning to sleep right in this chair because he wasn't leaving. Nope.

He didn't even need to call their coach to tell him that he'd be skipping practice tomorrow because Rin had been keeping him posted practically all day, alternating between brief phone calls and messy text messages and although he was certain he had a comparative religion essay and a calculus packet due just over the next three days, all that would have to wait. Or actually he could just bring his backpack tomorrow, Rin thought and made a mental note to grab his laptop, _flag-it_sticky notes and whatever else he normally kept at home. He'd bring everything here. No need to get kicked off the team for failing classes.

Sousuke's hand was warm, a good sign to Rin. He planted kisses on each knuckle, his thumb brushing over the ridges and all of a sudden he started to worry about what would happen when he woke up.

Sousuke.

Sousuke's dream was being knifed through _once again_ damn it because of this. He would have to stop competing and _holy_ _shit_. Sousuke was going to be absolutely crushed. He knew it. He just knew it – because Rin was feeling crushed right now_._Blinking, there it was; the pooling wetness in his eyes.

_ No. Stop._

Rin shook his head. He had purposely forbidden himself from thinking about the injury so he could stay strong. He held his breath and tilted his chin, glossy eyes glancing at the ceiling as he clenched his jaw. Another attempt to just calm down, again. And just like that he was breathing steady once more, eyes drawn back to Sousuke's sleeping face. They'd cross that bridge when they got there, is what he firmly told himself and he was actually sort of relieved when his idle thoughts were interrupted by one of Sousuke's nurses who, for the umpteenth time that night, had curtly knocked and came in. The guy, he had forgotten his name, must have been accustomed to being on his feet for hours on end because after all this time he was still practically gliding around the room with an oddly calm sense of urgency.

"Are you doing alright? Would you like anything to drink, sir?"

Rin sat back, sighing in thought. He'd really appreciate it if he dropped the 'sir' but he could definitely do with a drink. Maybe something caffeinated? Then again … caffeine was probably the last thing he needed.

"Yeah, sure." Rin nodded and watched him work. Fiddling with the machines, replacing drip bags, fluffing Sousuke's pillow and unnecessarily smoothing out the near nonexistent creases in his sheets because really, it's not like Sousuke had moved an inch since Rin's been in the room. Unfortunately.

"Hot chocolate okay? Or are you feeling like you wanna have some coffee? We got a lemonade machine too, you know, in case you want some of that." The blonde quickly listed off all the different assortment of drinks as he whipped a pen from the breast pocket of his plain, black scrub uniform – which wasn't cheery at all in Rin's opinion but thankfully his borderline upbeat personality made up for it – and every so often glimpsed at the monitor screen as he scribbled stuff down, probably stats, in a folder.

"Um, hot chocolate sounds good."

"You should probably eat too, if you haven't already."

It was like he was nursing both of them. And in a way he pretty much was because in the hours he'd been there he'd received the TV remote thank the lord because he'd be watching it later, three granola bars and fruit _to keep up his strength_. But he wasn't hungry. Not tonight at least.

"Nah, I'm okay."

He really couldn't imagine stuffing his face when Sousuke hadn't eaten a thing yet.

Rin could tell that the nurse really wanted to argue from the way his gray irises lingered on Rin's trembling fingers before coming up to bore into his more than likely hazy, near bloodshot eyes. But he didn't and Rin was relieved for it because he was calmer than before, but still just frustrated enough -wired up enough- to argue back against his better judgment. The poor guy could probably see it too because he just furrowed his brows and heaved a tiny sigh before telling Rin he'd be back shortly.

When he heard the click of the door, he reached forward again, letting his forearms rest against the bed while he took Sousuke's hands in his own. The fatigue creeping up on him was the kind that made your body tremor and he had to fight to keep his head up although he could've sworn that just a few minutes ago he felt energized enough to be up for another hour or so. It was futile though. Fighting sleep was, that is. He could feel himself losing the battle to stay awake as he partially focused on the steady rise and fall of the raven's chest, his eyelids slipping like there were weights attached to them. Hopefully the nurse would wake him up for that drink.


End file.
